THE KEEPER OF MY HEART

a short fiction story I was able to finish before i graduated college in 2005... unedited. :) 

            I was walking. I passed by a house and I saw a happy family. They gave their hearts to each other. And they were hugging and kissing. It was perfect.

 I continued walking and I passed by a group of four young girls. They were the best of friends. They were handing their hearts to each other. And they were laughing and having the greatest time. It was perfect.

I walked further. I saw on my way a couple. Their hands were entwined as if none could separate them. Their eyes seemed to promise forever. They gave their hearts to each other. It was perfect.

I moved my hand to my chest and felt my heartbeat. It was beating with excitement. My heart is full, there was so much love to give. So then I decided, I want to give my heart to the ones I love too and would give their love in return. I want to find the perfect love.

So one day I walked home. As I reached for the doorknob I heard glass breaking. I heard screaming. This wasn’t startling for this happens in our home almost everyday. My papa is a drunkard and my mama was once caught with another man. My brother had so many vices and I even caught him smoking pot. My elder sister was pregnant and the man ran away. But I still love them for they are family. I smiled and turned the knob. Maybe my heart can do magic. Maybe if I gave them my heart their eyes would be opened and everyone will change and be happy. So I went inside and they all stopped and stared at me. I smiled, stretching my arms, I offered my heart. Yet, as if I wasn’t really there they continued fighting and screaming and throwing things away. A hand accidentally swung my way and hit my arms. My heart flew from my hands to the middle of them all and fell to the floor. I stared at their angry faces and then stared at my crumpled heart on the floor. Slowly, I picked it up and dusted it off and went away…

I continued walking. “Maybe not everything’s perfect after all…” I whispered. I remembered my friends.

The next day, refreshed, I continued my journey to find whom I shall give my heart to. That night I saw my two best friends in a bar drinking. So I went up and sat down with them.

“Hey guys, what are you doing here?” I asked.

They looked at each other and snickered. They were already drunk.

“Well, we’re actually having a night’s out to…uhmmm… escape from a friend’s regular sermons.” They laughed again.

I knew very well that I was the one they were talking about. I never approved of them going to these kinds of places. In a place like this one is surrounded by sin and temptation.  And now they are mocking me to my face. I was a bit hurt, but I just said to myself that they were drunk and didn’t know what they were saying.

I smiled and held out my hand. “Here’s my heart. You two as my best buds have been very important parts of my life so I want you to have it.”

They took my heart from my hand and stared at it. But then another group of people came and asked my best friends to join them. One of them handed a pack of cigarettes. My friends took it and stood up.

“Hey, we’ll see you at school. No offense, but, at these times of the week, we prefer to be with these guys.” And with my heart in their hands they took off, with the hard disco music drowning them.

They went to the middle of the dance floor and began wiggling their bodies. They were so absorbed with the music that they forgot about my heart and dropped it. And there I saw my heart on the dance floor wrecked. I went and picked it up and left the bar. I looked up to the sky as I felt my tears falling down my cheeks. I stared at the stars hoping to find comfort there.

I smiled. “Maybe not everything’s perfect after all.”

The next day, with all hopes high, I continued my journey to find the one whom I shall give my heart to. On my way, I met my boyfriend, we strolled down the beach and had a romantic dinner. We had a pleasant time together. As we sat on a bench under the romantic sky, I held my heart to him.

“You’ve been so wonderful and I love you. I want to give my heart to you.”

He took it and smiled. “Thank you. I’ll keep it and love you forever.” He put my heart in his jacket’s pocket.

I went home and lied down my bed. For hours, I’ve been staring at the ceiling, feeling happy and content. Someone accepted my heart and promised to keep it forever. It was perfect.

The next day, I was strolling down the sidewalk toward the park. The time I got there I saw my boyfriend. I walked towards his direction and saw him stop in front of a girl and kissed her. As I walked nearer, I heard his words of love that he too had said to me before. I called him. He was startled but still approached me, leaving the other girl on the benches alone.

“I’m sorry, I met her and fell in love with her instantly.”

“But you said, you’ll love me forever…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I was hurt. I wanted to cry but I didn’t. Not in front of him. I just nodded and he slowly turned away.

I called to him again. “My heart, where is it? I want it back.”

He stared at me taken aback. He then stared at his shoes.

“I’m sorry, but I think I’ve lost it. Goodbye.”

He walked away, living me with no heart to give away to someone I love and will love me back and keep my heart. I run away crying. I was so hurt that I felt numb all over. I was crushed inside and out.

Weeks passed by, I still I was in pain. I walked all over town trying to find my lost heart. I walked all day with an antique box of lead in my hands that would hold my heart so it won’t be hurt again. Tired and weary, I sat on the beach and played with the sand, staring at the golden grains as my hand sifted it. And then a man in white approached me. I recognized Him the moment He was standing in front of me. It was God.

“I can feel you are in pain,” He said.

I looked up to Him. “How did you know?”

He reached for something in His pocket and showed it to me. It was my heart! I stared at the man.

“I have been watching you. I have heard the excited beating of your heart, so excited to share your love to those whom you cared about hoping that they would accept and keep it. But then they didn’t, did they? Instead they wounded your heart and had broken it. Now I could only hear its faint beating. Your heart had been wounded. But look! I have healed it for you.” He handed me my heart with a huge, warm smile. I could see the same excited beating of my heart. I graciously took it from Him.

I opened my box made of lead and put my heart inside. I stared at it for the longest time, smiled and closed it. I stood up in front of Him.

I stretched my arms and handed him my box.

“Here is my heart. It is Yours to keep,” I said to Him with a smile as tears of happiness came crawling down my cheeks.

“Why?”

“I tried to give it to my family, but they rejected and wounded it. I tried to give it to my friends, but they did the same and hurt me more. I tried to give to the man I loved but he did the same. He wounded my heart and even lost it. Their love wasn’t perfect but Yours is. Those times, I was shattered and became hopeless thinking I would not be able to find the perfect love. I thought no one would deserve to own my heart.”

“But then You came with my lost heart in Your hands and gave it back to me healed. So then You’re the only one who deserves to have my whole heart. Because I know that You’ll take care of it and fill it with the love I need. Please accept it. It is Yours to keep now.”

God smiled. “You have made Me glad. This is what I really wanted, to have your whole heart and not just a portion of it. I will take care of it and will fill it with the love that would comfort and strengthen you for always.”

He put my box with my heart in it in his pocket. “Thank you.”

I shook my head and looked up to Him with a wide grin. “No God. Thank you.”